logansrogue (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
logansrogue) wrote2004-07-15 04:32 pm
logansrogue) wrote2004-07-15 04:32 pm
Hrrmph.
My nine year old nephew Joshie has developed a love affair with Ripley. Seriously, he goes on about her all the time. "She's fiesty!" he cries. "She's savage!" He likes how tough she is. It's one of the few things that's amused me lately.
I've been very depressed. But duh - you knew that. I went to my doctor today and she really pissed me off. I don't think she meant to.
She just- she said that I look for trouble, basically. That I ask for the drama that I seem to have. This - upsets me. A lot. Let's look at my 'drama'...
- migraines for three months
- depression
- accidental consumption of pot brownies (Was NOT deliberate)
- a break-up
Now - you tell me - are any of those things self inflicted? I mean, sure, I could have saved myself the pain of the pot brownies had I practiced some self-control. But other than that - I do not ask for the nightly mental break-downs. I don't ask for the lack of sleep, or the suicidal feelings. I don't ask for that, I'd rather be without it, but it swamps me.
I feel utterly alone and without help. She said she wouldn't fill out any more certificates for me anymore, which means I have to go to work next week and I'm terrified of what I'll do there. Eh. Maybe it'll do me some good. Who knows.
I just never hated life so much. :(
I've been very depressed. But duh - you knew that. I went to my doctor today and she really pissed me off. I don't think she meant to.
She just- she said that I look for trouble, basically. That I ask for the drama that I seem to have. This - upsets me. A lot. Let's look at my 'drama'...
- migraines for three months
- depression
- accidental consumption of pot brownies (Was NOT deliberate)
- a break-up
Now - you tell me - are any of those things self inflicted? I mean, sure, I could have saved myself the pain of the pot brownies had I practiced some self-control. But other than that - I do not ask for the nightly mental break-downs. I don't ask for the lack of sleep, or the suicidal feelings. I don't ask for that, I'd rather be without it, but it swamps me.
I feel utterly alone and without help. She said she wouldn't fill out any more certificates for me anymore, which means I have to go to work next week and I'm terrified of what I'll do there. Eh. Maybe it'll do me some good. Who knows.
I just never hated life so much. :(
no subject
A different doctor is what you need. You are sick, as genuinely sick as if you had the flu, and you're not responsible for that illness anymore than you would be if someone sneezed flu-germs all over you. You need a doctor who understands that. Maybe it would be easier if you wrote up a description of how you're feeling and how it's affected you, like in this post, and take a printout of it with you to a new doctor--it can be easier to describe things clearly in writing than in speech.
I'm worried about you, but not overly so, because I know you're going to pull through. You're one of the strongest people I've ever met.
no subject