logansrogue: (Ein Minuten Bitte!)
[personal profile] logansrogue
A lot of people are saying that they're not going to dance on Fred Phelp's grave or celebrate that he's gone. They're all straight people, and I'm kind of - I'm not angry or anything, but I feel uncomfortable. There's this movement that people want to be "better than Fred Phelps" and not be a horrible human being, but I feel that it speaks over the feelings of queer people who have been deeply hurt by Phelps' legacy. I mean - he was a man that wanted people like me dead. He celebrated the death of my queer brothers and sisters. I feel relief that he is gone. I am GLAD he is gone. He is another nail in the coffin of a horrible movement and a generation of hate-filled bigots that I will pray to God go the way of the dodo. And I think we queer folk are entitled to those emotions. I am not a bad person for being glad that he's gone. And to bang on the "We're better than that drum" kinda speaks over the real pain and anguish that queer people might want to express as this man's passing. Anger is a right too. I'm angry at him, I hate him, and I'm not ashamed of those things - I have the right to feel that way when someone does the things that this man did. I'm not going to dwell on them or anything, so it's not like it's going to blacken my soul. It's a flush of lightness in my heart that the world has one less asshole threatening the life of people like me on a daily basis. I'm not going to be ashamed of that.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-03-22 04:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likebunnies.livejournal.com
I'm glad he's gone. I'm not afraid to say it. I'm obviously not going to picket his funeral because I don't have that kind of traveling money or time. I'm glad he's gone because his kind needs to be gone. Time to move forward. Kind of like how I felt when they ended Osama Bin Laden's life. We can now move forward without this thing hanging over us.

And although I'm your average straight married middle age woman, I'm not ashamed to say it's one of those deaths where I did not feel bad at all.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-03-22 04:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] honorh.livejournal.com
You know, I can totally grok that. I'm straight, and my feelings on his death are kind of hollow. He lived a wasted life, filled with hate, and now he's dead. I find that sort of thing sad. But I was never in his line of fire, not directly. I have no right to get down on anybody who wants to dance on his grave.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-03-22 04:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] logansrogue.livejournal.com
I'm not going to dance on his grave, I'm not that kind of person. He was someone's family member, it's sad for people. I'm just not wasting my sympathy on him or his life. I have no sympathy for him at all, and I see a LOT of people going, "Oh, I'm not celebrating his death, I am just sad for him and terrible life he lead." I'm like, sucka PLEASE. He CHOSE that life. He was a twisted, hateful, cruel singularity of bigoted bullshit. He gets an expression of sympathy - what about the people he hurt? I don't think I can ever communicate how it feels to have someone like Fred Phelps pontificate about God hating you. Of him having an entire group behind him. Of knowing there are millions of people out there that think JUST like him but find him gauche because he's willing to be open about it. Just for something you have utterly no control over. And then a bunch of people that have never had that hate levelled at him going, "Oh, I forgive him" or "I won't be as horrible as him, I shan't show joy of his passing" and I'm feeling like, "Well, that's great for you but it's not exactly your struggle so it's not your place to forgive him for that shit."

Like, I understand people are coming from good places and I appreciate it, but the framing and the way the communication of ideas is going is that it's inadvertently shaming and silencing queer folk who were directly affected by Phelps' bullshit.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-03-22 05:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] honorh.livejournal.com
Yeah, I get that. I was using hyperbole, not accusing you of wanting to dance on his grave, btw. And, to be clear, I'm not so much sad for him as for the fact that there are people out there just like him, there always have been, and there always will be. It makes no sense to me, and it saddens me that they always manage to drag others down with him. I feel sorriest for his children and grandchildren, especially those who had to break away from their families in order to save themselves.

But yeah, I'm not one of those he hurt, and I have no right to say how they should be feeling right now. Which is why, by and large, I've said nothing on the matter. Besides, I don't want to waste emotional energy on him, either. I hope he fades quickly from memory, and his church of hatred withers on the vine.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-03-22 05:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asweetdownfall.livejournal.com
THIS. SO. MUCH.

All the people on my FB newsfeed saying "anyone's death should never be celebrated" and "we must be better than that and learn to love everyone" and blah blah blah infuriate me. And it smacks of so much privilege, sigh.

He was a waste of oxygen tbh.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-03-22 07:10 am (UTC)
ext_4241: (rainbowsocks)
From: [identity profile] lauredhel.livejournal.com
Yes.

I'm even a touch ... hm, weird, or icky, about the "he's got grieving family members, so it's not ok to be glad" thing, and I'm not quite sure how to express why. I just can't really imagine being a decent human being and not repudiating a family member who was such an unutterably and unrepentantly bad person. I get that decent family members may have mixed feelings or whatever about his death, but honestly if they stood by him throughout and supported all his bullshit, I don't quite get why I should go to incredibly great pains to be delicate about their feelings, because they are bad people also, and people who enabled his evil deeds.

All hypothetical, because I know no details about his family, and don't particularly want to.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-03-22 12:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] veronica-rich.livejournal.com
I try not to be too ebullient about anyone's misfortune purely as a practical consideration; I am superstitious in that one regard. I feel like anytime I've been that way in the past, karma has bitten my ass with some misfortune to me or family. That's my mental block. (I don't mind admitting it - I'm not Christian, so I'm not trying to curry favor with a specific god to get into heaven by pretending to be a noble person with no practical earthly reasons for my behavior, LOL.)

Which is to say, if you want to be happy about it, you go girl. As a woman who once had a uterus I'm glad he won't be around to try to fuck up abortion access for others anymore. Although, I honestly think someone else will take his place, so I doubt his "work" is over.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-03-22 01:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-physicist.livejournal.com
reminds me of all those people who were like: let's not celebrate that Thatcher's dead, be respectful... all of course people who were middle or upper class, not from the UK or born way after Thatcher (and upper and middle class) etc. Just like... yeah.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-03-23 12:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] boomstick.livejournal.com
His followers also picketed the funerals of soldiers and anyone they deemed ~naughty~ like Dio and George Carlin.

Honestly, he didn't allow a ton of people to have a stress-free, peaceful funeral, so I don't see why he should get one either.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-04-04 06:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mamasboo.livejournal.com
This is true.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-04-04 06:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mamasboo.livejournal.com
That man was so hate filled. I just look at him and I wonder how that kind of hate and evil gets into a person. Maybe some people are just born broken or something? We need to find the gene that causes Phelps and eradicate THAT. I can't feel bad about his being gone, just as I don't feel bad about Tommy Lynn Sells being executed yesterday. Some people have proven they don't belong here. What is frightening is that there are more of them out there.

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